Late Night Tears

Tonight, I cry. I cry for myself, because of my lost little self. The little girl in me, tonight, comes out.  She cries for all of her past, for her present, and she cries tears for the future.  Tonight I cry because I'm scared, because I'm uncertain, because I feel vulnerable.  I cry with one tear sliding down my cheek. I cry because I don't know what else to do.  Everything I've ever wanted for myself...is just a fantasy.  A figment of my sick, imaginative mind. I cry because I had the audacity to believe him.  To believe that I was someone special.  To believe that I was the one.  I cry because my own stupidity made me prey.  I cry because I am my own enemy, and now, I cry harder because I cannot blame anyone besides myself.  I cry because I allowed myself to feel.  And now I feel your knife edging into my heart, killing my dreams and spirit. I could tell you I cry because I have nothing else to do - but that wouldn't be the truth.  I cry because my heart can't take it anymore. I don't want to let you go. I don't want this to end. But my tears have ran full and my body is empty.  And there is nothing left of me to give.  I don't want to be alone and I don't want to let you go. But there is nothing you can do to make me stay.