Quiet suffering.

My heart is in my throat.
My tears are pouring from my eyes.
The strings to my heart are constantly violently tugged.
My mind rambles with confusion.
My chest drowns in aches and pain.
The uncertainty rips me apart.
It dangles in front and laughs at me.
It clouds my judgment and gives me false hope and security.
I can no longer suppress my sorrow and angst; my disappointment.
Please, please let the pain stop.  I beg of you.

Emptiness.

Every time I'm home, I feel your soul haunting me.

Your silence screams in my face, taunting me, and ripping my heart from my chest.

I drown in this misery--in our bittersweet memories.

I miss you.  Always.

I miss us.

I miss everything we ever had.

I wish I could change the past.

I wish I could have made different decisions.

Every day I think of you.

Every day I am reminded of you.

Every day I want you.

Every day I miss you.

Every day I'm reminded that I don't have you.

Tragedies

This pain in my chest--it sinks deep inside me, filtering through my blood stream.
I feel the pulse of my heartache crawling up my chest and rising through my neck, over my lungs, up my mouth.  The pressure bearing down on me, squeezing the life out of me.  It is unbearable.
So many woes. So many worries.
So many tragedies and disapointments. So much heartache and pain.
So much bad luck and trying times.
Will there ever be a day when things look up? When things will be happy?

Every day, every task, every movement and thought, every ounce of energy spent feels like I am dragging barbed wire across my skin, letting the steel puncture my white delicate flesh.
Pools of blood form as the physical pain makes you scream out in agony.
Your face, nothing more than a wince and a plead for mercy. A plea to be pardoned from this torture.
A plea to escape this house of hell.

Wei Yi, Part III

Every day that passes away from you, my heart grows fonder.

Every day that I'm not by your side, I long for you more.

Every minute that I notice we're apart, I need you more.

All I know--is that I miss you.

I miss you like I've never missed a thing.

I want to hold you.  To kiss you.  To touch your skin.

I want to inhale your scent and feel your body close to mine.

I want to wake up to your warmth every morning.

I want to crawl in with you every night.

I want to make you breakfast and make you dinner.

I wan tto be the woman you've always wanted and never had.

I want to be yours again.

I want to share moments with you.

I want to hold your hands, make you laugh, make you proud, make you happy.

I want to comfort you and support you.

Every dady that I'm away from you only assures me that you are my man.

That I couldn't ask for anything more than you.

I couldn't want anything more.

You are my everything.

I never knew as much as I know now.

I hope I keep you forever.

I hope we never let each other go.

I love you with all of my beating heart and I will never stop for as long as I shall love.

I will devote myself to you, mind, body and soul.

You are my one. You are my only.