Something inside me stirs and I’m not sure why. My mind is foggy and I find myself constantly thinking about nothing. My empty obsession is draining and I don’t know why I insist on such acts. My life is uncertain. And I find myself immensely frustrated by that fact. I know its all supposed to be a mystery. But my body, my mind—they want more and are tired of waiting for nothing. My mind is often filled with self-doubt. Pure confusion. Insecurities. I wish there was a rock to hold me up. I am trying to tread the water and keep from drowning—but I’m afraid of my strengths and wary of my weaknesses. I compare myself always and judge harshly when I notice my own inferiority. Why is it that some people are less and others are more? Who had the privilege of making such distinctions and why?
My mind is plagued by thoughts that make no sense—that have no structure. I hope that I am able to grow. I want so much to be better. It’s the only thing I aspire to. Obsessions are dangerous. And I am walking on a thin line. Why is my mind “all or nothing”? It’s frustrating and infuriating. I want to change but then again, what would be left to make me stand out and separate myself from the rest of the crowd?
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