Addiction

A flicker of hope.  A flash of happiness.  There are no promises. I see that now. There is only the pursuit of a life together.  My dreams of an “us” hasn’t yet died.  You gave it new meaning yesterday.  Perhaps I am foolish for buying into your angelic looks and the heavy sighs on the other end of the line.  But without optimism, I feel we will die right then and there. 

I want it to be me. I want so much for you to pick me to run home to. I want you to always be in my life. When I see your smile, your beautiful face and body, a flood of memories rushes through me.  Do you feel it too?  Do you know that we need to be together? I want you to love me more than anything. I want you to feel confident by my side.  To be the father of my children.  To always be my mountain.  I have faith in life. I have hopes for us.  I dream that we will be together, that it will all work out in the long run.  I’m scared that it won’t. Frightened actually.  But I have to trust fate.  I have to believe that it will work itself out.  The patience is trying.  It’s a vice I’ve been having to hone for a while now.  Your unpredictable nature, I get it now.  I’m not sure I like it, but I can’t say I hate it enough to not want to be with you.  I can’t give up yet. I can’t let you go until all other avenues and alternatives have been exhausted.  I truly, truly want you in my life…forever.  My heart fills with joy the minute I see you.  


He drive me crazy, he really does.  He makes me do unthinkable things to myself.  But he is a drug.  And like an addict, all I want is more.